Her Champion
by ali-lou
Summary: OK, I'm not actually sure what genre you would make this, my guess is romance: Andrew shows Spike a tape of Buffy at his memorial service and Spike wonders if he made a mistake leaving her...
1. Default Chapter

Okay, this is my first fiction....there isn't much to say, I am a huge BS shipper and this is set after the end of Buffy and after the episode of Angel where Angel and Spike go to Italy and see the back of "Buffy"'s head, anyways, please review this, I know everyone says this but I have NEVER written anything fanfiction before and I don't know whether to do another chapter on this, I will acknowledge everyone who review good or bad, that is if I do another chapter, which I will if at least 1 person tells me to, and soon because I have about a week with nothing to do right now, so read and review, even if its negative (I am so excited about getting a review I've never gotten one before :))  
  
Awkward silence filled the room, a darkly foreboding man in a suit sat at his desk, he gave the impression that he had seen more in his days than most ever do, a tall black man and a bookish looking man who gave the impression he hadn't slept for days shared the comfortable looking couch. In one corner of the room stood a good-looking man dressed in black, his hair was white blonde and the temp worker who observed them smiled coyly as he looked at her.  
  
"Mr. Angel, sir" she stammered "ummm...there's a man here to see you"  
  
"send him in" Angel replied, he sounded bored as if he had said the words a thousand times before.  
  
The man who entered the room was wearing a navy suit, he looked small and uncomfortable in it, almost as though he was playing dress-ups.  
  
"Bloody hell, not again you stupid git, can't you leave us alone Andrew?" Spike's voice was a sharp contrast to the awkward silence that lingered in the air. "Andrew, I'm not going to Buffy, she doesn't need me, she doesn't want me, I won't ruin her life again"  
  
"I know, I just...thought you should see this" Andrew held out a video "it was last week...at...at your memorial service"  
  
Spike's expression was unreadable, he reached for the tape but Angel got there first, pushing a button on a fancy remote control Angel opened a large television hidden in the wall, he put the tape in and sat down, waiting for it to run.  
  
"I don't know why I taped this, I just thought you should see it" Andrew said timidly as the screen showed an image being focused.  
  
On the screen everyone watched intently as about 35 teenage girls, a redheaded woman, and two men, one old and one younger stared, like the camera at a gravestone, the camera was too out of focus to read it's inscription, a woman walked up to the stone, which was set outdoors, the place looked sunny and the faint sound of running water could be heard even on the tape. The young blonde woman looked up, her face was tearstained and she smiled meekly at the teenage girl beside her, a petite brunette, then she began to speak  
  
"umm...we are all here today to spare a moment for a friend and an ally...a lot of you, in fact most of you didn't really like Spike, not many of you knew him but he was the most amazing...person" as she said the last word her breath caught in her throat and a tear slid down her face.  
  
"Spike taught me more about life than anyone else I have ever known, which I guess is ironic because he wasn't technically alive, but he had more spirit than any human I know, Spike was always there for me, his support was unwavering, even when others abandoned me Spike was at my side" at the last sentence a few people looked around guiltily "Spike seldom asked for more than we could give, for his entire life...and unlife Spike searched for love and for companionship, despite being dead and at times, well, evil he devoted himself to others...it occurred to me, right before he...died" a huge sob escaped her lips and the older man with glasses on stepped up beside her patting her on the shoulder and comforting her, Buffy looked at the gravestone and with a deep sigh she continued her speech  
  
"right before he died I realized that Spike had never been loved, he had loved enough for a billion people and he had devoted centuries to others, good or evil, but he never got anything close to love in return...but still he sacrificed his life for us...for me that night, and he died alone, he sacrificed his own life because despite the fact that most of you hated him he cared about your fates, I don't care if none of you liked me but please, think about this, think about the life he led and the sacrifices he made, because Spike was a true hero, Spike was a champion, I hope that that is how he is remembered"  
  
girlish sobbing could be heard from behind the camera, presumably the person filming was touched, the film cut to the gravestone, blades of grass and leaf obscured part of the screen and it was assumed that the camera had been hidden there, someone's feet became visible in the frame and as she knelt at the grave Buffy's face was visible.   
  
"hi, Spike, I...I don't know where you are or...if you are, but I wanted to read you what your gravestone says" Buffy sobbed quietly  
  
"it says, here lies William, he was a true champion, I know it's lame, but I just, there was so much I wanted to say to you, too much went unsaid and I don't know if you believed me at the end, if you just wanted me to leave but Spike, I do love you...I need you to know that you are loved, you were loved, your life meant so much to me... I had this guy I was seeing for a while, I don't know why, I guess I just wanted everyone to think I had moved on, the immortal was perfect but I felt nothing, I just felt more hollowness inside me, I asked him to leave and he did" she looked like she wanted to cry but was trying to put on a brave face, Buffy let out a forced giggle "Spike, you have ruined me for every other man in the world"  
  
"Anyway, I don't know how I can do this...life, whatever they are calling it these days without you, and I know I said it before but Spike I do love you, know that you were loved...you are loved"  
  
On screen Buffy stood up and walked away, leaving just the gravesite but no one stopped it, silent tears streamed down Spike's face, Andrew stood up and left the room.  
  
Gunn and Wesley looked at each other, they appeared to be in shock, Wesley contemplated something in his head before speaking out loud  
  
"Spike, what is love?"  
  
Spike eyed him as if he was crazy, but then he too seemed lost in thought  
  
"It just can't be described like that, but Wesley..." the last part was added quietly, as an afterthought  
  
"she isn't love, keeping a shrine of someone, not letting them go, it isn't love"  
  
Wesley looked as though that was the answer he wanted and he left the room, Gunn followed after him.  
  
Angel sat at his desk silently staring at Spike, his eyes showed little emotion but suddenly he appeared to come to some sort of conclusion and he reached into his desk and pulled a piece of paper out  
  
"If you hurt her, I'll kill you" he said the words quietly before handing the paper to Spike and leaving the room.  
  
Spike looked at what was in his hands, a one way plane ticket to Italy.  
  
So how did my first attempt at writing go, now its time to attempt to post it on the site writers always whinge about ff.net, I begged for reviews at the top so I'll shut up now, but remember I'll personally acknowledge all reviewers and it only takes one, I repeat ONE good review to get another chapter. 


	2. Reunion and return

OK, second chapter, I am so thrilled with every single review I got! I am surprised more people didn't comment on my grammar etc. because although I'm normally pretty good with that stuff I didn't even check that chapter over, I had the idea in my head and I just quickly typed out the page and posted it. I promise I've checked this one over a little better! Btw, can someone tell me how to give my chapters names? I hate it when they don't have names when I read, I can't remember where I'm up to. At the bottom of this page I've thanked everyone who reviewed like I promised, I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good because I don't really know where I'm going with this, I have a few good chapters planned out but I need to think of a plot line to sustain the story until then, I'm so sorry for not explaining the thing with Wesley better, he was thinking about Allyria/Illyria whatever her name is and I'll bring that into the story later, also thanks for pointing out that Angel wouldn't be so accepting, I think I'll definitely at least have him call, maybe visit because I'd like to bring the AI crew in! So without further ado; the second chapter!  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Two hours later Spike was at the terminal,  
  
"Bugger this, the poof has private jets to burn and he sends me on a bloody public plane" Spike muttered to himself as he boarded the plane, finding his seat at the aisle Spike saw that next to him was a loud kid who looked about ten accompanied by a lady with a baby. Spike settled in, this was going to be a long flight.  
  
Buffy's house in Italy   
  
Buffy rolled over and whacked her alarm clock; it tumbled to the floor in several pieces  
  
"Oops" she mumbled to herself, sliding out of bed, "Dawn, are you ready for school yet, DAWN" she yelled into the hallway of their modest two story home.  
  
The brunette, now about three inches taller than Buffy bolted out of her room, "consider me gone Buffy, I'll see you this afternoon, after I hang out at Alicia's place" Dawn muttered the last part under her breath.  
  
As she heard the door slam shut, Buffy dropped back into bed, satisfied she had performed her duties only to have the phone ring  
  
"Hello" Buffy picked up the phone sleepily and muttered into the wrong end of the receiver, quickly switching the phone around in her hand she spoke again, more clearly "hello, is anyone there"  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Willow" Buffy replied recognizing the voice instantly, "are you OK"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, look Buffy we found something you might be interested when we were looking for potentials in LA, I'm gonna come over straight away if that's OK with you, I'm bringing Faith, Robyn and Xander with me"  
  
"Right" Buffy replied, still tired she didn't fully register what Willow was saying for a few seconds "How is Xander?"  
  
"Oh, he's doing OK, he's absorbing himself in finding new slayers, look Buffy we'll be there in a few hours okay?"  
  
"See you then" Buffy attempted to sound cheerful. She felt like someone had replaced her brain with lead.  
  
A few hours later, Buffy's place   
  
Buffy hurriedly swept a mixture of old pizza boxes and TV guides under the couch, hoping no one would notice just in time to answer the door bell on the fifth ring, that must be some kind of cleaning record, she thought to herself as she opened the door. The moment the door opened two people leapt at Buffy squeezing the air out of her  
  
"I missed you guys to, but I kinda have to breathe" Buffy smiled as Willow leapt back  
  
"Sorry Buffy, I didn't mean to suffocate you, I'm just so glad to see you, apart from the...memorial service, it's been a while" Willow spoke at a billion words per minute, only Xander and Buffy, both of whom were familiar with "Willow speak" as Dawn called it would have been able to understand her  
  
"It's 100% Ok Will" Buffy laughed, only then did she see the two figures behind Willow and Xander, they looked out of place and embarrassed at the threesome's display of affection  
  
"Faith, Robin, It's so good to see you guys, come in" Buffy gave Faith a quick hug. Faith stood still while Buffy hugged her, not really the affectionate type she walked into Buffy's home, looking around curiously  
  
"Nice pad B, If we end up crashing here I don't want the couch though, I don't know if you noticed but there's a bunch of old garbage under there"  
  
Buffy looked embarrassed at Faith's remark "it...err, must've been Andrew who put that garbage there" she said, looking at the ground "anyway, why did you guys come, it sounded big on the phone" Buffy thought it would be wise to quickly change the topic  
  
"Ok, well, you might want to sit down for this one Buffy" Willow looked at her nervously as she took a seat on the couch "ummm...we were in LA picking up some new potentials..." "...Slayers" Xander interrupted "Yeah, whatever, anyway, we were getting the slayers and while we were there we noticed a few things, you know how things have been a bit weird lately, like vampires are dying and the weather is a bit insane and stuff, well it all seemed a bit worse in LA, we called Giles and told him we thought that the supernatural abnormalities that have been happening around the world lately and, he said that Los Angeles must be the source of the problem, Giles' theory was that because we destroyed the Sunnydale hellmouth that the evil mojo had spread around to Los Angeles" Willow paused taking a deep breath "Obviously, we looked into it, we sent some slayers to get that insane slayer from Angel" "Wait a minute, Willow that was ages ago, I approved the pickup of that slayer, why are you just telling me this now" Buffy looked confused and she glanced questioningly at Faith, who just shrugged and turned back to Willow  
  
"Anyway" Xander continued Willow's story "Andrew didn't say anything, but the slayers think that, well they think that Spike might be alive...well not Alive but alive, if you know what I mean" Xander continued to talk about how that would explain the abnormalities and he went on about some prophecy but Buffy didn't hear a word of it, she felt numb, she could tell Willow had an arm around her but she couldn't feel anything, suddenly Buffy leapt out of her chair,  
  
"I don't know what you guys are playing at, but Spike is dead" her eyes welled up with tears and she yelled the next sentence "he's gone, he left me, if he was back he would've come, he would've known how alone I was, Spike wouldn't just leave me, I know he wouldn't" Buffy was screaming now, which is probably why she didn't notice the figure who had just silently entered the room.  
  
............................................................................................................ Okay, that's chapter 2! I spell checked this one but I still didn't go over it that well, if I have some spare time at any point I'll repost them with better grammar. I know this chapter wasn't nearly as good as the last one but it was a necessary thing and I didn't really know how to write it, I need to include an actual plotline (you know, apart from major Spuffiness!) like something for them to fight, I think I might revolve it around a prophecy, not necessarily Shanshu but something, so anyone who can help me with that should let me know via review or email, I would be so grateful and love you forever! I am trying to write like a structure or plotline or something so I can write to that and my story isn't just going nowhere, I have kind of made Buffy completely OTT emotional type thing and I have planned in my head for her to be like that in the next chapter as well, so review and help me out or give me some advice on how I could've made this chapter better thanks!  
  
BloodNdarkness:I guess I answered both your questions...kind of, Buffy and Spike haven't met yet but soon! Thanks for the review Zanet:Ok, thanks so much for your review, as someone who has been reading stories and leaving reviews for like years it is so nice to get such a positive one, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint too much! Little-lost-one:What can I say! (not much) Thanks for the review Star2421: I am so happy that you think this is how Buffy would react, I do too and one of the things I am worried about is that I don't really get the characters right, after this chapter (if you read it!) do you still think Buffy is in character or is she too moody? ArtTwist: Yeah, I thought about why the memorial was so late but I couldn't really justify it, I think I'll make her say something to Spike about that later, maybe she thought she could move on easier if they had a memorial or something...I am glad you liked Andrew, it is very him isn't it! I ain't telling U!:I hope you aren't disappointed by the badness of this chapter (I know I'm being really negative all the time but I was so proud of my first chapter and I know if I was reading I'd be disappointed by this one) Thanks for the promise! I hope you do read and review this chapter! The-princess-06:OMG I'm on a favourites list, I think I'm going to scream...I just did (I'm serious I'm at home alone and I just screamed really loudly!) Thankyou so much for the review, thanks for the advice about Angel, I think I'll take your advice and make him call! Pumpkinbelly:thanks for your encouragement, Wesley will be brought into it later I think, he was talking about Illyria (I HATE that) try and figure it out! Thanks again! Mwa MadVamp013:errr...Ok, I have no idea what to say to your review but I am flattered that you liked it! Thanks for the review ( Spkgurl68: Probably one of my favourite reviews I got, I am so genuinely flattered I cherish your review (I know, I'm lame!) you are a sweetie, thankyou! Fashiongrrl: you and Spkgurl probly did my favourite reviews, I'll definitely keep what you said in mind, and I'm sorry that again I didn't check my work that well! ( but I love that you love some lines in the story, thanks for the encouragement I totally won't beg for reviews this chapter and I'm definitely posting more regardless of reviews because I do have more to say! Michelle: Thanks for the review! Keep on reading (as long as you enjoy it) Scatterbraingirl: I am so glad you think it's well written because I wasn't aiming so much for that, really the first chapter is something that was in my head and I liked it and I just had to write it, that's why the second one wasn't as good, it doesn't have the same emotional content because I didn't think it out very well, now I will start trying hard with the writing, thanks to your compliments! Willowrose16: almost tears, wow! Thanks heaps you are nice, I spent a lot of time thinking about Buffy's speech so I'm glad it got through to people! Melora:Ooh capitals! I like that you reviewed, every single one spurred me on to write a second chapter straight away! Samica: glad you wanted more, because you know what, you got it, I intend on making this quite a long fic if I can get a good storyline going that isn't Buffy and Spike getting together (I don't what that to happen right at the end I want it earlier in the story then them together for the greater plot!) LonelyWillow:YAY thanks for making this a favourite story! I LOVE that! I don't know if you wanted this to be a 1 of 1 but if you did just discount any future chapters! You ROCK! Spuffyfan1: Maybe your review was short but because you put me on your favourite list I listened to you and updated straight away! kiss kiss Gumdrops: Thanks for the review! You are very cool! Spikesbabyblues: I love being on your favourite story list especially because you have written three great stories yourself! I am so pleased that people were touched by the memorial! Culf: I think you can tell, she will forgive him! But upon seeing your review I thought maybe she should be a little bit mad...not for long though, (true love always wins and all!) It will definitely be nice and Spuffy, I don't mind the saying practice makes perfect...well not with this anyway! Alysa: Thanks for the review!  
  
WOW SO MANY REVIEWS; next chapter I'll just have to mention and thank the top 10 or something (that's if I get this many) or the ones that really got to me...I am so unbelievably pleased people were touched by Buffy's speech, it's been in my head for a while, I have another few Spuffy moments planned, but guys, I REALLY need some advice, or help with the plotline or something, I would really appreciate it...thanks everyone! 


	3. Forgiven not forgotten

Ok, After that second chapter I realized that I didn't really want them to fight either...I didn't really know what to do but I've made Buffy kind of too emotional to really process all that, so she's not really that worried about everything she said before  
  
Tears streamed down Buffy's face and she turned to leave the room, a hand grabbed her arm...  
  
"Spike" Buffy screamed, almost hysterical she slapped him in the face, directing all her anger into one blow, Spike looked at her, his eyes were glassy with tears, looking up at his face she collapsed into his arms, sobbing hard into his shoulder  
  
"Spike, never leave me again, please, tell me you won't leave me again, I can't do this without you" Buffy pleaded, her knees were weak, if she hadn't been clinging to him she would've fallen to the ground  
  
"what can't you do" Spike asked  
  
"life" Buffy's answer was almost inaudible, only Spike's vampire hearing and Faith's slayer senses picked it up "promise you won't leave again"  
  
"Never" Spike promised quietly "never again, Buffy I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have waited to come to you" he spoke softly, desperately begging for her forgiveness "I promise...." Buffy cut him off "I don't care Spike, none of that matters anymore, you're here and I'll never lose you again, as long as you're here now it's okay" Buffy started to smile, she was still crying, mostly from the feeling of too many emotions at once, she laughed leaning towards Spike her lips captured his in a gentle kiss, Spike deepened the kiss and they sat there, lips burning, bodies on fire before Buffy broke the kiss  
  
"Unlike you, I actually need air, that's the second time today someone has almost suffocated me" she gasped, laughing as she looked into his eyes.  
  
A few minutes passed, Buffy and Spike stood, unmoving, staring at each other, oblivious to everyone else in the room. The others were silent, in awe of what they had just seen, Willow looked a bit embarrassed at witnessing such a personal moment, finally Faith spoke up "Wow!" The silence was broken and Buffy and Spike turned to look at everyone else,  
  
"So, is anyone hungry?" Buffy asked somewhat awkwardly  
  
A chorus of yes' resounded around the room and everyone followed Buffy into the kitchen, as they ate some biscuits Buffy managed to dig up from a box which had been marked on all sides "property of Andrew, please refrain from eating the contents of this box, and if you do, don't throw out the limited edition Star Wars tin" When they had finished eating Buffy dropped the tin into the bin, where it made a loud clanging sound before hitting the bottom.  
  
The group were sitting in the living room that afternoon when Dawn returned home, they had decided to play Monopoly although Willow and Faith wanted to talk to Buffy and leave the boys alone, at that time Buffy and Spike were inseparable, and unstoppable at Monopoly it seemed. Faith and Robyn were coming second, they worked on the principal that Robyn bought Faith all the properties with pretty colours. Despite Willow's complicated and well thought out gameplans, she and Xander were almost bankrupt.  
  
"Hey" Dawn's voice resounded through the house  
  
Dawn walked through the door into the living rrom and saw that everyone was playing Monopoly, looking at the familiar faces she smiled, this is exactly what Buffy needs, time with her friends, Dawn thought to herself going over the visitors; Robin, Willow, Xander Spike, Faith...Dawn did a double take "SPIKE" she screamed running to the couch tackling Spike, knocking down the entire game in the process  
  
"good to see you too Nibblet" Spike smiled laughing softly at Dawn's enthusiasm  
  
"When, why, HOW?" Dawn fired the questions quickly almost screaming the last part  
  
Buffy remembered her earlier anger at Spike not telling her he was back straight away, she looked at him intently, but it didn't look like he was going to answer Dawn's questions, Buffy decided to wait and bring it up later when they were alone, no, that was stupid, she changed her mind and began to ask a question "Spike?..." Buffy was cut short by the telephone  
  
"Hello, Buffy Summers speaking...is that Angel"  
  
I know, really short chapter huh? But I have been posting one every single day so you have to forgive me! I really wanted to end on that note so you couldn't have more, and I also know that I want to bring the AI team and Giles into the story but I need a complication, Angel needs to need their help and I have to think of something either a prophecy or a new big bad....so again, I REALLY NEED HELP WITH THIS I won't be able to update until I figure out what to do Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially the-princess-06- you have been really great helping me out with this, I am going to include minor Faith/Robin, I think it was you who asked that.. So, until I (or one of you) think up something that resembles a plot bye! 


	4. Calls and conversation

Hi again, it's been a while huh?! OK I know my apocalypse is incredibly lame, I read the most amazing BS story the other day so I'm all inspired, but be warned my apocalypse is neither original or particularly exciting! I really want to write one of those "post chosen Buffy and spike go back to season 2/3 and meet their younger selves" stories but I think I'll wait till I finish this one, your support is much appreciated! Thanks guys Buffy looked around the room and everyone was silent,  
  
"Angel" she said softly  
  
"Who is with you?" Angel's deep voice echoed in her head, damn long distance calling.  
  
Buffy gazed around the room, taking in the faces, then suddenly seemed to come back down to earth because her voice was strong when she spoke "Pretty much everyone, Giles isn't here at the moment"  
  
"What about Spike?" Angel's voice held regret when he asked  
  
"He's here" her tone told him that now wasn't the time to discuss Spike  
  
"Look, Buffy I know that with Wolfram and Hart and everything I'm probably not who you wanted to talk to" Angel sounded apologetic but Buffy also detected a note of sorrow, the same sorrow and sense of tragedy that usually hung in the air when they were together.  
  
"It's fine, really, Angel just tell me what's wrong"  
  
"You might want to put it on speakerphone, I have a feeling you won't want to explain all this to your friends"  
  
Buffy inwardly shrugged but she dutifully clicked the speaker button anyway, then she moved to the couch taking Spike's hand, sensing her discomfort at the situation Spike squeezed her hand gently and smiled, the smile he got in return was meek  
  
"Hello, still there?" Angel's voice was fuzzy but everyone could still hear him  
  
"We're here" Xander tried to make his voice sound normal but his response still came across as cold  
  
"Look, I know that I'm not exactly the most trusted person to you all at the moment" Angel began "but I need your help, something big is coming" he paused, Willow broke the silence "Angel, something big is always coming" she sighed "not big like this, lately some weird stuff is happening, the prophecies seem to be either coming true or proving themselves pointless, this morning Wesley found something, a symbol that is encoded into almost all of the major prophecies, it links almost every piece of writing we have to a single apocalypse" Angel let this sink in, the group was silent, it was Spike who spoke, "so you're saying that there's one apocalypse to go...ever"  
  
"No, if we were to win this, if we were to beat whatever's coming, and we aren't even sure what it is, all I know for sure is that if we won all the hellmouths would seal and every remaining old one, god and particularly powerful demons would be banished, we'd still have hundreds of demons and even more vampires to cause trouble" Angel replied quickly  
  
"Angel" Willow's voice was shaky, the full effect of this news having finally hit her "how does that work, if all the hellmouths seal and the old ones, the things of pure evil are stuck in hell, won't that throw off the Earth's balance, wouldn't everything be out of whack" Willow looked into space, her face showed deep concentration  
  
"No, if all routes in and out of hell were sealed and the above was completely separate from below there would be a shift in the entire cosmic balance, at the moment balance is being narrowly maintained. If we won this world would stand on it's own two feet, hell would be a completely separate dimension and the balance between one and the other wouldn't matter." Angel made his statement firmly, Willow looked awed but the others just looked confused, Buffy was shaking in Spike's arms and when she spoke her voice was feeble "Okay, I'm not sure I understand what's going on, but I know it's major, I know it's more important than anything we've faced, Angel...what do we need to do?"  
  
"If it goes down, it's all going down in LA so I'll get plane tickets for you guys, I'll arrange for you to come in first thing tomorrow, I don't know how many slayers you have but try and make sure all your bases know roughly what's going down, they can come over later" Angel sounded relieved "Your tickets will probably be with you some time tonight, who is there?"  
  
It looked like nobody else was going to speak so Dawn answered Angels question "Me, Buffy, Spike, Faith, Robin, Willow, Xander and Andrew is around here somewhere"  
  
"Good" Angel acknowledged he had the message before they heard the dial tone. The group sat in silence for a while before Faith spoke  
  
"Wow"  
  
"Yeah" Robin replied  
  
Buffy jumped up from Spike's lap "Okay, here's the scenario, I'm calling Giles, activating the phone tree everyone is packing, tonight Faith and Robin will sleep in the living room, Willow and Xander will take Dawn's room and Dawn, sorry, but you're bunking with Andrew" Her voice was matter of fact and before anyone (namely Dawn) could protest she had the phone in her hand.  
  
Later That Night  
  
Buffy locked the door after spelling out the situation to Andrew in the kitchen, she quietly snuck past Robin and Faith who were snuggled up on the couch 'who would've thunk it, Faith is all "settling down girl"' Buffy thought to herself as she made her way into her bedroom closing the door behind her when she turned around she saw spike, seated on her bed waiting.  
  
"How'd it go luv" He spoke softly  
  
"Andrew's fine, well he'll get over it, Dawn is the best of everyone, I don't think all of this has hit her yet, you know, I don't think she gets how major this really is"  
  
"She's a sharp kid, Buffy, I think she gets it, she's petrified, she's just trying to put on a brave face so you won't worry about her"  
  
Buffy contemplated this as she leant into Spike, lying down in the bed she marvelled at the way their bodies fit together.  
  
"Spike, How did you come back?" Once she had asked Buffy felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders  
  
"I don't know exactly, one minute I was burning up and the next I'm popping out of that amulet at casa de Angel, I wasn't corporeal at first" At this last statement Buffy subconsciously squeezed his hand "I got this box and when I opened it...poof" and here I am today" Even at the end of his story Buffy got the feeling there was more to it than that  
  
"How long have you been corporeal?" Spike gulped, he avoided her eyes. "Spike, please, I need you to tell me"  
  
"I kind of lost track of time, but I'd say it's been a few months" he felt Buffy tense against him "Why, why didn't you come" her voice was small, 'she sounds so lost' Spike thought to himself.  
  
"I, I didn't think you wanted me, I thought you were better off without me" Spike looked away from her as he spoke  
  
"Please, Spike, I love you so much but you have to know how much it hurts that you didn't come" her voice broke and a silent tear slid down her face "after everything I went through, with Angel, you can't make my decisions for me"  
  
"I'm so sorry, Buffy I just don't know, and so much happened, after Fred died things were just so complicated, she believed in me and I wanted to stay" Spike met her eyes  
  
"Fred?" Buffy was curious  
  
"She was this girl" Buffy saw the pain in his eyes and she sank into his arms "It's Okay, now isn't the time" Spike was grateful Buffy had dropped the subject.  
  
"Spike, I'm sorry"  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Just everything"  
  
Spike smiled, he lent in and their lips met Buffy slowly pulled away "Spike, I love you, I love you so much more than you can imagine and I don't know what I would do without you, I don't know how I even survived the past months, I was so lost when you were gone. I love you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it to myself" Spike stared at her in disbelief "don't feel like you have to apologise luv, besides, plenty of time to make up for the past because in case you hadn't noticed, I'm here for the long run, I'm going to love you for an eternity" Buffy slid a hand between them and unbuttoned his shirt, Spike kissed her, the kiss was different, soft, gentle. Later that night while Buffy slept Spike looked at her and smiled "I love you"  
  
Okay, how was that, I am so grateful for all your great reviews, I think I'll dedicate the chapters to two reviewers or something from now on. I find it hard to write Angel, but I'm trying, next chapter I promise I'll have a Willow and Buffy girl talk chat! And I think I'll also include Dawn and Spike having a talk hmmm....the possibilities. I'm going to try and write some of that quippy, fun type BS conversation because I think my story needs that and for the person who emailed me, later in the story I have actually planned to include Buffy and Spike talking about his soul and whether it really matters to her but I'd like Angel to be there, I think that adds a whole new dynamic! So thanks for reading! 


	5. Driving and Discussion

Okay, it's been a while but I've been really busy and it's not likely to get better for a few weeks

White Avenger-Thanks for reassuring me about my apocalypse, glad to see you don't mind! I hope my update isn't too late for YOU!

Spuffyfan-1Great to have you reviewing, sorry I didn't review soon, hope you're still reading

FoxyRoxy514-Good to hear you like the Spuffy, someone emailed me and said they didn't! It's good to have you on board! I will continue to make this as Spuffy as I like

Zanet-you should get an account! I don't know why I'm lecturing you one thisâ€I just want the best for such a nice reviewer. Accounts are free and I had one for more than a year before I published anything because you get a favorite stories list to make and you can keep track of the stories you've reviewed! Glad to hear you enjoy the Spuffy, I enjoy writing it

I have included Spike and Dawn talking although I'm not very good at writing them, I was going to fix up the spelling and grammar errors in the other chapters but I thought people would appreciate an update more! Oh and sorry if my story is "so mushy it's unrealistic" but I write fanfic to show what I want to happen but I know never will, so you should probably stop reading because this story is fluffy and happy and above all Spuffy

* * *

"Okay who's doing Buffy and Spike wake-up duty" Dawn said bouncing into the living room. All eyes turned to Andrew.

"Turn around, touch the ground, bags not being it" Andrew yelled.

"Okay, look Dawn I'm a carpenter, the world needs me, I am SO not waking up Buffy and Spike" Xander spoke up.

"I have my whole life ahead of meâ€sorry" Dawn smiled

"I'm an educator, we're valued members of society" Robin raised his eyebrows as he questioned them "what's so bad about waking Buffy and Spike up anyway"

Faith laughed "well," she was cut off by Dawn before she could get any further

"Nothing, we were just playing aroundâ€you can go wake them up" Dawn spoke quickly

**5 minute's later**

"She threw a broken alarm clock at me"

"You got off easy" Faith smiled "B hates being woken up"

"Easy" Wood questioned "then she grabbed the doona and threw it over me, AND I had to see Spike naked"

"You saw Spike naked" Andrew asked admiringly "next time I'll wake them up"

A few moments later Buffy and Spike entered the room.

"Everybody listen up, we hit the air at 8:30, we have to be at the airport at 6:30 and it's 6 now, we don't have much time, we have two cars at our disposal. Wood you are driving whatever you came in; you're taking Faith, Xander and Andrew.

Willow, you'll have to take some luggage and myself in the mini that The Immortal gave me"

"Ummm...Okay one small problem, myself and the bit can't fly you know" Spike spoke up

"Make that two small problem's, my car won't fit Andrew AND our luggage" Wood said

"I have a plan love" Spike smiled "luckily, when I was in LA I had something sent over. Wood, Faith and Xander ride in his car with Andrew squished in a suitcase or something, you and Willow'll take the mini as long as red drives and the nibblet and I will take my car"

"Your car" Buffy groaned, piecing things together

"Wolfram and Hart had her removed before old Sunnyhell went kaboom, they thought it'd be a good incentive for me to work there" Spike smirked

"I hate that stupid car" Buffy sighed

"What sort of car have you got" Faith smiled "it must be a pretty hot set of wheels if it was saved from Sunny D and Buffy hates it "

"Spike loves that dumb car more than me" Buffy whined jokingly

"She's not dumb" Spike said defensively "and I don't love her **more** than you, I'd say you're equal" he smirked patronizingly

"And Faith, she's a De Soto"

Faith burst into laughter "a De Soto, I thought it'd be a bit flashier than that"

Before they could say anything Faith hit the floor

"Buffy" Faith looked up at her for affirmation

"You were asking for it starting on the car" Buffy giggled "Anyway, load up the cars, we meet at the airport"

* * *

Willow backed the car out of the driveway "manual" she groaned, "I can barely drive an automatic"

Buffy observed her friend as they drove, she looked happy enough, in fact she looked better than she'd seen her in a while

"How's Kennedy" Buffy questioned, trying to measure her reaction

Willow looked over at her "I don't actually know, to tell you the truth" Willow said, turning back to the road "I realized that she wasn't my type you know? She was fun for a while but I need someone a bit more grounded, Kennedy's nice but she's not"

"Tara" Buffy finished the sentence. Willow looked over at her and their eyes met, quickly changing the subject before she got teary Willow spoke to Buffy

"So, Spike eh?"

"Looks like it" Buffy smiled

"She knew you know, Tara, she told me you and Spike would end up together, she was like that, she could always tell how people really were, you couldn't lie to her" Willow looked at Buffy, she was looking down, it was obvious she was thinking about Tara, but even in this she didn't look as sad as she used to, in fact Willow didn't think she'd ever seen Buffy look better, she almost glowed. "Well, I can tell Spike makes you really happy and I'm glad" She said decisively as they fell into comfortable silence.

**meanwhile in the De Soto**

"God Dawn, don't pack too lightly. What if we're stuck there for ten years and you can only wear everything once" He said sarcastically, looking over his shoulder at the abundance of bright pink plastic suitcases

"Hey, it could happen" Dawn replied, then she grew serious "Spike, I really missed you and Buffy really, really missed you and I think even Giles and Xander missed you" she said this all in one breath before pausing "Well, maybe Xander and Giles not so much, but you sacrificed yourself for us and I just wanted to tell you that Buffy needs youâ€and I need you and I hope you and Buffy are really happy"

Spike smiled at her "I missed you too Bit" he said genuinely "so does this mean I don't have to watch out for methylated spirits and a match when I'm sleeping" he joked

Dawn blushed "yeah, sorry about that"

"I get it, it's okay, I love her too you know" Spike smiled and turned to the road

* * *

Okay, another chapter down, like twenty to go!

Thanks for reviewing, I want to make it to 50 for the next chapter, that's 7 whole reviews, but I'll settle for 5 Okay!

Well, that's kind of an empty threat, I'll update when I'm ready whether I have 10 reviews or none but I'd really like some and they WILL help me write quicker ;)

Hope this was ok, I can't wait to get your feedback on it and any suggestions. Thanks to all who reviewed, I mentioned you guys up the top

See you next chapter!

PS- sorry the chapter name is kinda lame, I could've done; cars and conversation but I've had conversation before... or traveling and talking but that sucks


	6. Sorry and Goodbye

Hi, I'm sorry to have to post this, I was going to stop being such a horrible author and post the next chapter thanks to a much needed boost from mjaw who is awesome, But I'm afraid a personal problem has come up, a close friend has passed away from cancer, something I never thought would happen to someone so close to me, especially since I am only 26 and I have received custody of hertwo year old. I will be taking time off work and my husband is doing the same, So I'm genuinely sorry but I'm afraid I'll no longer have the time to work on this fic (not that I did before!) .

My question to you guys is -should I;

A-Leave the story as is and change this AN to say that the story has been abandoned

B-Alter the story so it is a one-shot (I would remove the latest chapters and combine the first few)

C- Delete the story altogether

(new idea!) D- Someone else could finish the story for me, seriously, anyone! If you know somebody or are willing to do it yourself or with someone else, I would love you to do it!

I hate to say it but even though B is probably the best thing I hate to lose my reviews (come on, this was my first story!) But I guess I'll go with what most people say…

Thanks to:

White Avenger- Thankyou so much for reassuring me about my apocalypse, it makes me sad that I have to end this story before it's time, Maybe I'll leave the story and in a few years I'll finish it…All my reviewers would be all grown up and flown away! I'd still like to have closure on it though. Thankyou so much for beautiful positive reviews.

Elizance- Thanks for taking the time to review, it was short (very short!) but you let me know you were reading which was so sweet, thanks eternally!

Sucked- This is the closest thing I've ever gotten to a flame, so thanks I guess, but you did tell me what you thought was wrong, so thanks for caring enough, you aren't a signed in reviewer so I doubt you'll ever read this ;(

BloodNdarkness- You waited a long time but an update never came, it's a tragedy…I'm not being sarcastic, I'm in a terribly emotional mood, my life went from perfect to the furthest thing from it so quickly…Thankyou for reading the story and being a good reviewer

Kargrif- I LOVE Buufyverse and Angelverse together, that's the way it ought to be! All the characters interact s well together, it was a pleasure to write them…Your fic Once More With Emotion is too cute!

Claire C. Griffon- It is tough isn't it! You are so nice to encourage me and help me out with this, The british slang is a real problem for me

FoxyRoxy 514-Thanks for reviewing, It's nice to know someone is there every step of the way, and you really were.

Amandamanda3- My 50th reviewer, you were a landmark indeed! So nice of you to review

Mjaw- Okay, this is the biggest thankyou of all…You reviewed every chapter (When I come in halfway through a story I'm sorry to say I never do that) You always gave the longest reviews, you snapped me out of it and prepared me to write more. It was such an honour when you reviewed as you are undoubtedly one of my favourite authors ever, possibly my favourite of all time! I will always read and review your stories so this isn't the end, At a time when I am very upset it's nice to have a consistent reviewer.

OVERALL thankyou to EVERYONE who reviewed or read, I am SO sorry I have to do this to this fic.

One last thought- If anyone knows ANYONE who would be willing to finish the story for me pleeeeaaassee let me know I would love to see what someone can do with it… Thanks for the support, the fate of this story is in your hands


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